Wedding planners are the unsung heroes of a couple’s big day, turning dreams into reality while navigating countless moving pieces. But even the best planners have a wish list of things they’d like brides to understand before diving into the wedding planning process. Whether you’re newly engaged or deep into the details, these insights from Houston-based veteran wedding planner Shaun Gray will make your wedding planning journey smoother and more enjoyable.
1. They Work for the Couple, Not the Parents
One of the biggest misconceptions brides have is that the wedding planner’s role is to mediate between the couple and their parents. Naturally, this feeling would arise when the family (who is more than likely funding the wedding partially or fully) is pressuring the bride with their requests and that doesn’t align with their vision. As Shaun Gray shared on an episode of Hue I Do, “At the end of the day, I answer to the person who signed that contract and no one else.” While planners are skilled at managing family dynamics, their ultimate responsibility is to the couple. Conflicting opinions from parents can create tension, but a good planner will always prioritize the couple’s vision and preferences. Brides, remember to set boundaries early, and trust your planner to help navigate any tricky situations.
“At the end of the day, I answer to the person who signed that contract and no one else.”
2. Most Vendors Have a List of Vendors They’ll Never Work With
Wedding vendors are part of a small, interconnected world, and relationships within that world matter. Most veteran wedding planners and wedding vendors have seen their fare share of mess and stress caused by incompetent vendors. Shaun emphasized this, explaining how he immediately adds vendors to his “do not work with” list if they cause significant issues, such as failing to deliver on critical aspects of the event. If your planner gently steers you away from a specific vendor, trust that they really have your best interests in mind. “If your planner’s telling you they had a horrific experience with a vendor… that’s a really bad experience if your planner’s going to say it out loud,” Shaun advised. After all, a great vendor team ensures a seamless wedding day.
“I don’t ever want to get into a situation where I’m tarnishing somebody, but when asked about my own experience of would I work with somebody or not, I’ll share the experience without giving the vendor names.”
3. DIY Weddings Can Be More Expensive Than You Think
While Pinterest, TikTok, and Instagram make DIY wedding projects look simple and cost-effective, they often end up being more expensive and time-consuming than hiring professionals. Shaun noted, “if it doesn’t look the way you thought it was, you’re going to have regret.” However, he realizes that there are deeper meanings to DIY weddings. “If they’re doing it [having a DIY wedding] because they really loved doing it… it was a way that made their relationship with their wedding party stronger or brought them closer to their relatives, then I applaud them for that.” Regardless, DIY projects can derail your budget and sanity if not approached with realistic expectations. Wedding planners and coordinators know the hidden costs and challenges of DIY, so consult with them before committing to an ambitious project. They may have alternatives that achieve the same look for less effort.
4. Planners Need You to Be Honest About Your Budget
Budget transparency is crucial. Shaun advised couples to be upfront about their financial limits because that can cause couples to get vendors that don’t fit their vision: “You book somebody because they were within your budget and their package had everything that you wanted, and then as time went on, you found out that it maybe wasn’t everything that you wanted or it wasn’t what you thought you had signed up for.” Planners aren’t there to judge your financial decisions; they’re there to make the most of your budget. Being honest from the start allows your planner to guide you to vendors and options that align with your financial goals. Now, it’s understandable if you don’t know what your budget is but realize that certain wedding planners won’t even give you the time of day. Ultimately, remember, they’re experts in stretching a dollar and finding creative ways to deliver your dream wedding without breaking the bank.
“You book somebody because they were within your budget…and then as time went on, you found out that it maybe wasn’t everything that you wanted.”
Conclusion: A Partnership Built on Trust
Wedding planners are your partners in creating an unforgettable day. By understanding their priorities, respecting their expertise, and fostering open communication, you’ll set the stage for a stress-free planning experience. “You know yourself better than anybody and that doesn’t change when you’re planning a wedding,” Shaun reminds couples, encouraging them to trust their instincts when selecting vendors and making decisions.
Check out this episode of Hue I Do, featuring Shaun where we dive deeper into what planners wish brides knew. It’s a must-listen for anyone gearing up to say “I do.”
