Your wedding day is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and your vows are one of the most intimate moments of the ceremony. If you’re wondering what to include in your wedding vows, you’re not alone. Many couples feel overwhelmed by the task of putting their emotions into words. But with a little structure and inspiration, you can create vows that truly reflect your love story.
1. Begin Your Wedding Vows with a Warm Opening
Start your vows by addressing your partner. Use their name and perhaps a sweet nickname that reflects your bond. A warm opening sets the tone and draws your audience into your story. A simple, heartfelt beginning like “From the moment we met…” or “Standing here with you today…” can work beautifully.
As Alexis Dent of XO Juliet shared on the Hue I Do podcast, “It should follow the sequence of a story. It should be your own happily ever after.”
2. Reflect on Your Relationship
When thinking about what to include in your wedding vows, reflect on how your relationship began and evolved. Share a specific memory or turning point that solidified your bond. Maybe it was a spontaneous road trip, a difficult time you overcame together, or a small, everyday moment that revealed deep love.
These personal anecdotes provide context and authenticity. They’re not only a tribute to your journey but also a way to make your vows unique. As Alexis notes, “Include an anecdote or two that’s really relevant to your relationship… something that makes sense or that moment when you were like, okay, I want to marry this person.”
3. Express Your Love and Appreciation
The heart of your wedding vows should include genuine expressions of love and appreciation. Tell your partner what you admire about them and why you love them. Be specific. For example, instead of saying “I love how kind you are,” say, “I love how you always make time to check on your grandma, even on your busiest days.”
Alexis emphasized, “Your vows are a gift to your partner… speak from the heart.”
4. Make Promises That Matter
Wedding vows are, at their core, a series of promises. Think deeply about what you want to promise your partner. These can range from the traditional (“to have and to hold”) to the personal (“to always laugh at your terrible jokes”).
Aim for 3 to 7 meaningful promises. These should reflect both your personality and your shared vision for the future. Including promises ensures your vows aren’t just romantic but also grounded in commitment.
5. Look Ahead
Conclude your vows by looking to the future. What are you excited to experience together? How do you see your life unfolding with them by your side? This section provides a hopeful, forward-thinking tone and helps round out your vows emotionally and structurally.
For example: “I can’t wait to build a home full of laughter, weekend pancakes, and quiet moments of just us.”
“You should always include… your own happily ever with a bow,” said Alexis. It’s a reminder to end with your dreams for tomorrow.
6. Keep It Positive and Authentic
One key aspect of what to include in your wedding vows is tone. Keep your vows positive, even if you reference challenges. Avoid inside jokes that might alienate guests or references to past conflicts. Your vows should celebrate your love and look forward to the future.
Be authentic. If you’re naturally funny, a touch of humor is great. If you’re more poetic, let your words reflect that. Your vows should sound like you, not a script you found online.
“We all want to feel our most confident,” Alexis said, underscoring the importance of preparing vows in advance and practicing to sound your best.
7. Keep It Concise
Your wedding vows don’t need to be long to be impactful. Aim for 300 to 500 words, which translates to about 2 to 3 minutes when spoken aloud. Practice reading them to ensure they flow naturally and fit within the time frame.
“We typically say to aim for about three minutes… because not only is it awkward when one person’s really short or really long, but it’s also for your guests,” said Alexis. Uniformity can help maintain emotional balance.
Final Thoughts
Writing your wedding vows can feel daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. When you know what to include in your wedding vows—a heartfelt opening, relationship reflections, meaningful promises, and a hopeful conclusion—you can craft something deeply personal and powerful.
Remember, your vows are a gift to your partner. As Alexis wisely advises, “Take those times and those moments… to always tune into your relationship.”
Speak from the heart, and your words will resonate not only on your wedding day but for years to come.
